I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
