I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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