Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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