You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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