Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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