Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
