OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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