I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
