i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
