Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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