some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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