If i come over, it means nothing
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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