new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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