this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
