my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
