well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
