I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize