mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize