shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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