so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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