He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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