We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize