this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
