What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
