Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
