Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Randomize
