I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
