OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
