Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize