I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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