we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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