Already got asked if we're dating
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize