Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
