CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
