guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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