Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
