I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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