even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
