you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
