I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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