I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
