everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you would pick up someone in the library
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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