nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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