quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Can I color on your dick again?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
