you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
