i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Randomize
