the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
