But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize