I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
