Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Green mimosas i think yes
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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