I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
