there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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