FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize