I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
