i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
