i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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