I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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