I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
