Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
