I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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