Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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