What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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