My brain says no but my pants say off.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
