More tranny stories later!
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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