You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
