think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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