his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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