I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
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