She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
That accounts for only three of the penises
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
