I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
