Porn is love you can see.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
