Hey man sorry I got all grabby
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
