Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
