worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
