very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
