I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
a search helicopter?!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
