Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
