That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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