people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
