What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
