A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
