Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
