i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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