okay pat passed out under dana's car
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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